MY SEASON OF BEING IN THE VALLEY

It’s been a while…and I’m sorry for that.  When we started this journey I thought about all the great we would be sharing in our walk of foster care but as we have walked this walk over the last 3 years but especially over this last year I’ve been stuck.  How do you discuss the beauty of foster care when you have been stuck in the valley for so long? 

And here’s how……

 

Gods shown me over this last season it’s not about continuously walking in the valley but who you’re walking with.  Where are your eyes my child?  I can admit I’m not perfect well at least to you and this journey of loving the broken can take you to places you never imagined.  Places of indescribable hurt but places of beauty too.  This journey can open up past hurts of your broken family and play into current relationships.  This journey can make you feel so alone with those you have called friends for years and yet find a new source of bond with friends on the other side of a screen.

 Foster care no matter where you open up your heart and home is choosing to walk in the valley every day.  Choosing the crazy life of juggling many littles, appointments, the system, loving on the bios that made wrong choices when all you want to do is shake them……it’s knowing that when you wake that Satan is around every foot step you take and yet still taking each step because you also know He is there to redeem every step.

Foster care has helped me grow as a human and as a Christian in ways I never imagined….and I still have so much more growing to do.  This last season I strayed.  It’s easy to get so caught up that you lose sight on what He has shown you.

In this last season we loved several littles and lost them because Satan snuck in and we fell for his trap.  I only shared a little here and there on Facebook or with close friends because I was scared to show you that side, I was scared to show you my failures I was scared to admit defeat.  But here is where HIS beauty came in and he reminded me that without sharing those failures without being raw to the core of my soul where I break you would never be able to see HIS miracles you would never be able to see the beauty of choosing to walk in the valley each day.

So here I am a year later after my last post putting it out there I’ve been broken I’ve been lost and my heart and eyes strayed but He knew I would be back.  He knew that his gentle reminders and grace would bring me back to him.  Don’t be hard on yourself my sweet child because your word is a lamp to my feet and light for my path.  (Psalm 119: 105)

This path we choose to walk is broken and if we (meaning me) continue to focus on the what if’s, the hurts then we lose sight of who we are walking with in this valley.  We lose sight of yes saving the orphaned whether for a night or for a lifetime.  We lose sight of how being present in the hurt of our hearts and their hearts can plant seeds of growth that can change the steps we take to Him and His plan for us.

So today my sweet friends be present.  Show up whether you’re in the valley or not and say YES.  Yes I know where I stand and I know the plans you have for me and take that next step.        

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